Kirk or Picard?
I got a chance to watch a few episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation (STTNG) for the first time in ages. Which got me to thinking about one of the most important questions of all time.
Kirk or Picard?
So important that Weird Al Yankovic posed this question in his best selling single ever, White and Nerdy (video here).
You don’t have to be white or nerdy to like Star Trek or that song. The song about nerd culture, including a line about Star Trek, made number 9 on the Billboard charts, better than Highway to Hell (no. 47), Should I Stay or Should I Go (no. 46), "It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) (no. 69), and so many other hits.
But I digress. I learned from my last foray into declaring a pop culture winner (the best sax solo of all time) that I need to make it clear that I’m not actually definitively saying whether Kirk or Picard is better. There are arguments to be made for both. I’m sure there are arguments that I’m missing, and many other Star Trek great captains other people love.
But in my opinion, Picard is clearly the better of the two. No contest. These are VERY broad strokes below, general tendencies, overall impressions, but here’s my take:
Picard uses intellect to solve problems. Kirk’s fall-to is to use brute force. Which is how so many redshirts died in the original series and why Kirk got captured so much. That doesn’t mean Picard just gives in; he just uses diplomacy and strategy when possible.
Picard has mature love interests and treats women as equals. Kirk often treats women as potential sexual conquests. Although to Kirk’s credit, he comes off as somewhat sexist but is attracted to women from many species.
Picard is stern, but kind. His crew loves him. Even the kids of his crew love him. Kirk is arrogant and quick to anger. I don’t see there being a “Kirk Day.” “Picard Day” may be corny but fits with his character.
Neither are religious, but both become god figures at one point or another. Picard is kind, sort of like Jesus on his better days, treating his followers with respect, and tries to convince them he’s not god. Whereas Kirk uses the opportunity to get laid, then just abandons her and their child. Did he at least send child support?
Picard was a reflective peace maker. Kirk was a macho warrior. In the STTNG episode Darmok, after Dathon said “Temba, his arms open,” there’s a pretty good chance Kirk would have taken the weapon and stabbed Dathon.
Picard became a Borg, said one of the best lines ever — “Resistance is Futile” — and lived to tell the tale (with a lot of help from his crewmates). It doesn’t make him a better captain, but it’s much cooler than anything Kirk ever did.
There would have been no Picard if it wasn’t for Kirk. There would also have been no Xbox or Playstation if it wasn’t for Pong. That doesn’t make Pong better. So Kirk is more important than Picard in terms of Star Trek even being a thing more than 50 years later. But to the dismay of several people in my family, and probably some of you reading this post. I don’t think Kirk is even in the same league as Picard.
If you disagree, please set me straight in the comments. For now, gotta go get something to drink.
Computer: Tea, Earl Grey, Hot.
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