I’m (so) over covid

I think I finally get why so many people have stopped doing the simple, basic steps to prevent covid from spreading.

After getting covid a second time right after New Year’s, I’m over covid. As in, I’m so over it. I’m so tired of covid. Tired of thinking of it. Tired of my life being affected by it. I just want to never think of it again and just go on living my life.

But I can’t.

As someone with a good job and living comfortably, I don’t like to think of something in my life as being unfair. But this time, I can’t help it. Unlike millions of other people who still haven’t caught covid at all or recently, I’m still masking up. I’m still social distancing. I’ve gotten all the boosters I can.

And yet, I got covid again.

I know millions of people are sick of covid, but the reaction of most people in the US has been very different from mine. They’ve stopped masking up and social distancing. Some people are going to work when they’re covid-positive (by choice or obligation), other people are going around town while they have covid. There are people who have covid symptoms but not testing. They’re over covid, too.

But my reaction has been the opposite of most people’s. My thought has been, I’ll be careful now — wearing masks, social distancing, etc. I will protect myself, my family, and those around me by taking basic precautions. I see some people here and there joining me — maybe people who are immunocompromised, or concerned like me that they will catch it again or spread it to their family — but they’re a small minority, at least here in Memphis.

I’ve been vocal online about the need to wear masks and take covid seriously, passing on data and expert recommendations as I find them, even as the CDC waters down its own recommendations and its definitions of what level of covid positivity is acceptable in a community.

Sometimes I ask myself, “Doesn’t anyone remember that over a million people have died from covid in the US alone? That over a thousand people a week are still dying from covid?”

The media and majority of people no longer pay attention to the biggest pandemic in 100 years. I do see epidemiologists on Twitter, and articles here and there, that do acknowledge we’re still in a pandemic — some people are shouting it from the rooftops to anyone who’ll listen — which doesn’t seem to be moving the national conversation, but at least reminds me that I’m not insane.

I still wear masks at work even though only a handful of others still do. When I go to the store, I wear a mask. When I’m inside anywhere except at home and in the car with my own family, I wear a mask. I don’t want to get covid, I don’t want to spread it to anyone, I don’t want it to continue to mutate as it spreads like wildfire and risk even worse variants coming out. So I’m cautious.

And yet, I still caught covid again. What is the point of me taking all these precautions just to get it anyway? If I was going to catch it anyway, why bother wearing my mask? Almost 3 years of being careful and wearing masks, just to catch it twice anyway when there are anti-maskers who’ve never had it.

Many people think I’m too cautious, but I go out to stores, in the community. I even took a trip to Disney World with my family, which I wasn’t thrilled about but tried the best I can and actually had some fun. But telling from the timeline, I didn’t catch covid in the crowds of thousands of people. I can’t figure out when I caught it.

I know surrendering to covid isn’t what I want. I don’t really think I should have stopped masking and social distancing. If I hadn’t been doing this, maybe I would have caught it again sooner — a variant that would have had a worse effect on me. My wife and daughter didn’t catch it from me either time I’ve had covid — maybe they would have if I hadn’t been masking up before I even knew I had it.

Who knows, maybe I saved a life by wearing a mask and not spreading it to the receptionist at the hotel when I likely had it already before I tested positive. Maybe I am making a difference.

I know millions of people have died or have had their lives completely upended due to a loved one dying, or having severe long covid. They have it worse than I do. They have more of a right to hate covid and everything it’s done to nearly the entire planet at this point.

But all this effort just for me to catch it again, it’s so demoralizing. Several people around me have said, it’s crazy that me of all people would get it. But such is life. I’m sure I will get over being over covid and go back to doing what I feel I need to do to protect people and myself.

But I finally get it now. I get why people have given up doing all of these precautions. I get people not wanting to deal with it, people just saying “If I get it I get it” — not thinking about people they may be spreading it to. It’s been almost 3 years. Enough is enough. I get people saying, I’m just going on with life.

But that’s just not me. I’ll probably wallow in my self-pity for a little while, consider myself lucky that I’ve had two mild covid cases, and keep on keepin’ on until we hopefully either nip this thing in the bud or at least end the incessant, deadly, worldwide pandemic phase of covid.

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