Pollyanna or Debbie Downer?
This week’s #MondayMotivation
There’s a lot going on in my life right now, some of which I’ll post about soon.
This morning, I woke up from a nightmare at about 5am. It was a mega-nightmare, with about four of five things going on that I’ve been worried about or dealing with. (I only remember two of them, which I guess is good?)
But anyway, I remembered to listen to my meditation-slash-motivational app (Calm), and instead of just calming me down, it put me back to sleep! When I woke up an hour later with my alarm, I felt much better and started to reflect on the good things in my life — which as a perpetual Debbie Downer, is not something I used to do much.
I’m fortunate to have
a family I love and who loves me
our Yorkie who despite being noisy at times gives and gets so much love
a job that I really enjoy that pays a good wage
friends and extended family I’m in touch with online and in person
my TYT Army family who are supportive and fun to work with and talk to
fulfilling work as a volunteer, and now in a leadership role at TYT Army when several years ago I could barely talk to people without shutting down from anxiety
the amazing fact that I have met several TYT hosts and journalists virtually who actually know who I am (or at least who “Eclectic” is) and really seem to be great people off-camera
interests that I love that truly make me happy, from politics and news, to music, to languages, to games, to TV shows like Star Trek and The Handmaid’s Tale…
Yes, I very likely have long covid (more on that soon). I have bipolar that’s once again rearing its ugly head — or since it’s bipolar, I suppose it must be two-headed?! I find it more difficult than before to accomplish everything I need and want to do in a given day. And let’s not even talk about the state of the country and the world.
But…it’s all worth it. The good outweighs the bad.
I think I may be finally finding the sweet spot between Pollyanna and Debbie Downer that I’ve been trying to find for years.
I love Debbie Downer. Every time time I watch an old clip I can’t help but laugh out loud (and neither could Rachel Dratch half of the time, for that matter) because I can see a lot of Debbie Downer in me. And my wife agrees, lol.
I can’t even really remember much about Polyanna other than the character and the book series (which I’ve read about but not read) are optimistic overall but not all rainbows, unlike the popular perception. So maybe it says something about me that the thing I remember most about Pollyanna is that she wasn’t always Pollyanna-ish!
But I’m seeing myself as less and less of a Debbie Downer and more and more of someone who is not overly idealistic, but still optimistic that my life, and the world, can change for the better.
And for today at least, on a Monday of all days, I feel good about how things are going for me. And that helps give me motivation to find out what the rest of this week holds in store.
